i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
