Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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