i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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