Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
