Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
whose parrot is this?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
