I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
