He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
