Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
