Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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