At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
