do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Vodka?
Forever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
