you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
