Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
