so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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