beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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