There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
