it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize