Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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