I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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