Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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