She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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