he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
