nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
