This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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