the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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