chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
