happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
