Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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