i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Your cock deserves a montage
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize