its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
pop tarts are not kleenex
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
