so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Randomize
