I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
