time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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