playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize