normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
