i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
