Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
wow bdsm is so cute
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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