So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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