I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
