Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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