i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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