I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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