I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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