why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
