Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Randomize
