I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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