I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
