meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize
