It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize