Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
