Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize