I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
