Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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