He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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