Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
