we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
a search helicopter?!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't deserve a penis
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
