You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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