Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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