i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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