Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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