I puked a lego.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize