but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
