Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
