Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
