I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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