bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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