I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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