STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
