I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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