my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
