What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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