my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
